you can't serve both God and mammon.

life has thrown me for an odd loop lately...

first the IRS, now everyone else.

i have a stable and good paying job, and some side income, but lately i just haven't had enough money.

now me and my cable company are in a big dispute about large amounts of money that i swear i have paid, and they swear i have not, and i have no internet, cable or telephone.

somebody owes me $11,o00, and i need it NOW.

know what though? me and my girls have played a lot of games together. we've spent time being ourselves together. me and my husband have had some great times too. i have been going to plays and enjoying work and living a less distracted life.

as frustrated as i was for the last month or so, i have read a lot and gotten my library card renewed; i've begun to work some things out with the help of my pastor. i've found a new AA sponsor.

life is good these days, if i look at it the right way.

this might even be the happiest time in my life so far...

book of revelation

ever thought that maybe the events of revelation already happened like during the black plague, or the flood hasn't yet occurred, and that noah is among us or has yet to be born?

i know that some of you may send me hate mail for this one, but i don't mind.

brewed, screwed, tattooed.

remember when Jesus said that the sinners were the ones who need salvation?

seems odd to me that the modern xian church treats tattoed youngsters, homos, and folks who don't drive the right car like crap.

in fact, it seems to me that many modern xians never even read the words of the individual that their own religion is named after.

***

when i confide my religion to my peers, the response is usually a facial blanching...

apparently b/c ppl think of xians as fluffy haired soccer moms, and not, well, um, ahem, people like me.

later, when people hear that i give to the poor and take in the homeless and feed strangers, even homosexuals, they will often say things like "i thought you were a christian."

how 'bout that?

you can't serve both God and money

the IRS says i underpaid them $6,100 for 2003! <-- just got the letter today

can i stand as a conscientious objector and tell them that i serve God instead?

((or does this fall under giving to Caesar))

insomnia

sometimes i get to worrying that God just isn't there anymore.

it's dumb, and it sucks but it's true.

son of man

dude!

i think i finally figured out what son of man means... would like to first point out that it is used by many of the old jewish prophets, not just Jesus.

anyhow, i was sitting here reading the dorky book of enoch (just for shits and giggles), when it dawned on me that according to oral tradition, there was a contamination of human dirt/flesh (adam and eve's descendents) by angels who made the nephilim.

(side note: according to my sources, adam does not just mean "man" in ancient hebrew, it actually means "humanity")

the human/angel hybrids were supposedly very nasty creatures and they had so corrupted the earth that God brought forth great floods in which noah's clan survives.

son of man refers to the descendents of pure in-God's-image humanity. cutting out all human/angel demon/mixes!

whoa.

walking in the garden

y'know what?

genesis (pre-fruit genesis) tells us that God used to walk among his creation and speak to the people there.

did the forbidden fruit take away God, or our pureness and ability to perceive Him?

not to sound like a new ager (i really mean it), but now that Jesus died to rectify our sin and now that He sent the Holy Spirit, technically, we should be able to obtain our pre-contaminated state.